Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Who watches the alarm clock?

Liz and Ember were bad last night and stayed up all night long. Ember was courteous enough to come into my bedroom once every hour throughout the night to wake me up and tell me what she had been doing since her previous report, oh, and she needed a drink. Granted the wisdom that comes with age, I had a drink handy on the bedside table, so my interruptions were brief. In between, I had all sorts of random, violent, exciting dreams, of which I only remember a snippet.

It seems that I was waiting to get in to see the evil head villain, but had first to deal with his receptionist, sort of a sub-boss, played, I think, by Eddy Izzard. His villainous soliloquy was in full swing, climaxing in some sort of rant on treachery, when he flung the top from his reception desk with a dramatic flourish, revealing… a badly organized pile of old fashion magazines within the body of the desk. Eddy looked dismayed. Apparently there should have been some lethal array of weaponry or such hidden within the desk, rather than this mess. Rummaging through it a bit, he angrily shouted , “Now who’s got purple ink all over my magazines? Damn you, Rorshach!”

Suddenly, Eddy’s hand goes to his throat. A small dart there. Unconsciousness overtakes him, and he tumbles to the floor. Hopping lightly through an open window, a tall, dapper, Rorshach appears, his trench coat clean and crisp. “Ah ha!” Rorshach says, his voice full of heroic swagger, “Did you really think you could get away with it?”

“Wha-what?” I stammer, staring dumbly at this masked superhero who seems most out of character.

Rorshach stares at me for a moment, his mask unreadable, then slumps a bit, shrinking a little, the shine gone out of him. He clears his throat apologetically and speaks again, in a voice like old razorblades rolled in gravel, “Did you really think I wouldn’t…”

Staring down at Eddy’s unconscious form, Rorshach shrugs his shoulders with a resigned, “Hurm…”

“Daddy, daddy, Wake up. I need a drink.”


Blogger Jess said...

Thanks for the morning lulz!

One burning question remains, though: what were they *doing* all night? Or don't you have a report on Ember's reports, since you were asleep at the time?

3/26/2009 06:22:00 AM  
Blogger Wormius said...

I don't really remember what Ember was doing all night. My side of the conversation was usually something like, "Really? Wow, that's pretty cool. Don't forget to close the door on your way out. Love you."

As for Liz, unable to sleep through Ember's shennanigannery, she stayed up all night getting the title of "Chef" in Warcraft for having cooked like 150 different recepies, including serving hotdogs or something during all the major PVP battles.

She likes them achievements.

3/27/2009 10:34:00 AM  

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